Superwoman Syndrome

If someone can answer the age old question, "Are women able/allowed to have it all? Please let me know.

Procrastination is my word to describe the past few months. Throughout my pregnancy, I daydreamed what motherhood would entail. Long walks with Kaelin, crafting scrapbooks, baking cookies, joining a mommy's group and documenting every part of her journey through infancy were just some of the activities that I assumed that I would be participating in during my maternity leave. Boy, was I ever naive. In the first few weeks of Kaelin's birth, reality set in. I was a tired mom and the picture perfect Martha Stewart glamourized life that I promised myself was only a farfetched fairytale. "I'll do it tomorrow" was my mantra.
Latching difficulties, nightfeedings, physical, emotional and lifestyle changes were on the daily agenda. Brushing my teeth, eating breakfast and changing out of my pajamas had to be incorporated into my routine and regimen. If one of the items on the list was accomplished, I concluded that the day was a productive one. My days consisted of feeding, burping, changing, consoling, playing and napping with my daughter. Anything else that did not involve the baby like cleaning house and cooking meals would be placed on the backburner...even my relationship with my fiance suffered a bit. As things got easier, I found more energy to do more things and to get out more. For the first month, I felt like a prisoner in my own house. Depression, resentment, loneliness and disappointment filled my daily life. Postpartum depression? No not really... more like reality just sinking in.
Allowing yourself to be lazy once in while and giving yourself permission to be imperfect is the best advice that I can give to all new moms. I've only been at this mommy thing for only a few months now and I bet that I will have more grievances once I start working again. Balancing work with motherhood will be my next future challenge. Writing has been my therapy and an outlet for my rants. Don't get me wrong, I do not have any regrets about being a mother...Kaelin is my pride and joy. I just want to express that we should not feel guilty about not being able to fulfill the superwoman mold because after all we mommies are just humans in disguise.